is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
