just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
