My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
