I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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