What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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