I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't deserve a penis
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
