I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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