No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
