I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
