And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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