their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
