So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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