That's intense
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
