you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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