I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
