There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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