Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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