I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
