FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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