No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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