your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
