I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
