you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
