my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I smell like Dick and happiness
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
