Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
