Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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