he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The air was thick with penises
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
