then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
