its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
