FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
