I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
