I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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