she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
