I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
