Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
