I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
