How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
