i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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