theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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