Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
