she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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