Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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