i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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