At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just threw up on my dentist
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
should my penis look like a turkey
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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