Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
