so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
