We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
