i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
