8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
