Ambien. No doubt about it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
