wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
