I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Congratulations! We have a period
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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